I’d like to know the guy who designed the first split foyer house plan so I could give him a good talking to. Yes, I said, “guy.” It HAD to be a guy! No woman in their right mind would design such a thing knowing how difficult it is to do simple things like greet guests, and carry impractical things like, oh say, laundry and groceries {laughs maniacally} up the steps. Yet, despite its impracticality, this style of house dots the US landscape from sea to shining sea.
Typical guest entering house:
Doorbell rings
Me: {Opens door, moves out of the way of door swing, bumps into steps leading to second floor with foot, while at the same time trying to keep 17 pound psycho dog from mauling someone}. Hi! Come on in! Oh, hold on a minute while I run up the steps to the main floor so you have room to come in. Don’t mind psycho dog. He can’t bite because he wore his teeth down to nubs at the kennel a few years ago while we were on vacation.
Guest enters.
Second guest tries to enter. Pushes first guest up the stairs.
It’s ridiculous! Am I right? I hate that!
Anyway, I live in one and it’s become the bane of my existence since 1991 when we moved in. It was supposed to be a starter house, but we came to adore where we live, so, we decided to stay and turn it into our dream house under the condition that any additions we made had to look like it was designed that way and not just tacked on willy nilly. Is there anything worse than a bad house addition? As luck would have it, this is not an easy task considering a split foyer is one of the most difficult home styles to remodel. Ask any remodeler. They absolutely detest them because the placement of the entrance between the first and second floors is so awkward from both interior and exterior views. Rarely, do you see a remodel or addition to a split foyer that looks like quite right. I aim to change that!
